He's back...

Right.

I'm back. Alive still. Depressed still. Undertaking CBT.

One of the useful things to do is to keep a diary.

So, here we go.

Today was a good day overall. A long way from home, working away, but will be home tomorrow to see all my angels. So that's all positive!

So, it seems (from my start on the CBT path to health, happiness and the meaning of life) that I need to start looking for the positives in life, and dwelling less on the negatives. Jolly easy to say, a little trickier to do.

So, today, rather than thinking what does the boss want now for goodness sake, I tried to think, what help does he need to allow him to manage this particular problem or issue... Not perfect, but I actually feel a bit brighter this evening and a bit more positive about life. So, as a reminder, when I feel down, I thought I'd start by listing the positives in life.

Nicky and the girls
Happily married to wonderful woman that I love.
Car is OK at the moment
Job - although I'm away from home 3 days a week, I am at home the other 4, and the job isn't bad and the money is OK.
Christmas - holiday in the sun over Christmas to look forward to
Banjo playing is fun
Looking forward to the weekend with my girls
And Tom the dog...
Not smoking - vaping instead and that feels a lot better.


Things to work on:-

Rebuilding relationship with Sophie who seems to have felt a bit alienated since Nicky and I got married
In-Laws - more on that another time.
Be more forgiving of other people's foibles and foolishness (in my opinion)
Spend more time doing quality things with family
Find time to do quality things for me (other than watching TV and sitting on the sofa)


Stop going over the recent and distant past. Raking up things that I would do differently now won't change what happened at the time. Move on.


So, good things today:-

Had a nice breakfast in the hotel (toast and marmalade, two glasses of orange and a coffee)
Decent day at work - a few small tasks achieved.
A decent chat with a couple of my staff.
A decent chat with the big boss
Good recall of facts to refute some supplier silliness


Good things to look forward to tomorrow:-

Breakfast!
A couple of meetings at work that are likely to be a bit fractious, but I am prepared and have all the facts at my fingertips.
Good position on the project - from us (the customer) being rather letting the team down, to us being in a good place and actually it's now the supplier that can't cope!
Good facts to apply pressure for more resources from them.
Then, late afternoon, heading off back home. Getting back for 7:30 to see my girls when they land back from Nanny & Granddad, and work, respectively...

So, lots of things to think positively about, without being Pollyanna (I hope). Fewer things to worry about than I imagine most of the time.

No point worrying about the unchangeable past. Let the past bury its dead and move on.